Q

I am a 40-year old [lesbian] and have been in therapy for over 20 years. I am aware that many clients believe that their therapist is in love with them or vice versa, [but] this is different.

My therapist is also a lesbian. She often over-compliments me, is outwardly ‘different’ toward me and others have noticed. When alone, she tells me that Monday is her favorite day of the week because she gets to see and talk to me.

She asked me today what I think appropriate boundaries between [us] should be and why I have never asked any [personal] questions about her. She agreed with me that a professional boundary should be maintained but seemed disappointed and asked me if asking for her phone number would be crossing a boundary.

Am I being punked or is this really happening? Could she really have feelings toward me? She stares at my eyes. I’ve thought she might kiss me before! Am I overreacting?

Here’s the thing about relationship skills: They’re skills. We’re not born with them. We’re taught them. Most of us are taught them by people who are statistically more likely to be divorced than happily married: Our parents. Luckily we’re never too old to learn something new. But to turn information into a habit takes practice.…

No matter how many times I catch myself – no matter how clear I am that doing it does not give me the outcome I want – when I hear my wife Steph express words that don’t spit glitter, I react with some version of, it’s really not that big of a deal.  Aside from…