Q

Hi Dr. Darcy:
I would like to know your view of my relationship.  My boyfriend is such a great man [but only] when he wants to be, otherwise he is rude, inconsiderate, disrespectful, and does not tell the whole truth about things.  I know he is going through a divorce, and I [am] so understanding, if he talks to me about it. I feel [as] though he takes advantage of me being so understanding… The only thing I want to do is to be there for him. Then on the other hand I was going through IVF and we made an appointment for him to do his thing, but he never showed up, and made an excuse, but it happened more than once and he knows this is my only chance – my time is almost gone.  He said, “I’m sorry. I will do it, I promise, because I love you.”….

Everyone wants their partner to change.

“Why can’t he be more romantic?”
“If only we had more sex [hotter sex; less sex; any sex], I’d have no complaints.”
“I just want her to make me a priority.”

In my (gasp) 22-year career, the one constant among my clients is that each has believed with every fiber of her being that the key to her relationship success rested in her partner’s willingness to change.