So you thought holiday stress couldn’t get any worse? Welcome to 2020, when the things that historically justify putting up with the holidays are the parts we don’t get this year: Togetherness. Belonging. Community. I love the holidays. Gift giving is my love language. Cooking is my passion. Hosting friends ...

10-years is a long time for any relationship - whether with a human or a blog. A couple years ago I thought about hanging it up. Letting it go. I’d been writing Ask Dr. Darcy for 8 years, was busy with other projects, had covered every topic - many repeatedly ...

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Unless you’re in a relationship and it’s creeping up on December 11th. Tomorrow is, statistically speaking, the greatest day of reckoning in the calendar year - the day you’re most likely to initiate or find yourself on the receiving end of being ...

Women. We feel compelled to reach an orgasm – with our partner as the facilitator. We want you to feel good and we know that watching us finish makes you…finish faster. If I can be honest. Which is why we fake it. Often. And at some level, you know this.    ...

3 minute read Prefer to Multitask? Listen instead! Dr. Darcy, I was looking through my boyfriend’s phone because I noticed he’s been glued to it in a way he hasn’t ever been. I was prepared to see that he’s talking to some other girl. Nope. That would be too easy.  ...

4 minute read Prefer to Multitask? Listen instead! As an outspoken liberal white lesbian social worker from New York City, I’d think the majority of my readers would be of a similar demographic - and I’d be wrong.  My readership is comprised of all genders, races, sexual orientations, and political ...

Dear Dr. Darcy:  I just ended things with the second guy I’ve dated since the pandemic.  I feel like every guy I date wants to change me in some way. They want to improve my negative outlook (hello we’re living in a pandemic) or they want me to be more ...

This fall, I took a course called Whiteness, Race, and Social Justice. I wanted someone to show me the things I can’t see in myself – all the ways I’ve been socialized and educated to participate in and perpetuate systemic racism. I came to that class riddled with guilt over ...

The days and weeks on the heels of a breakup are, for me at least, memories branded in searing pain. Time, which generally flies by, is suddenly measured in minutes, not days. My energy, the stuff that I often dial down so as not to overwhelm the person who happens ...

Q: Dear Dr. Darcy: Ever since my boyfriend and I decided to move in together, our relationship has been suffering. Actually, I have been suffering. He’s a closeted pig. A slob. He doesn’t pick up after himself and there’s no methodology around how housework gets done. As a result, I ...

He’s not going to show up for the first date swinging an axe with swastika tattoos in plain sight. And since men are 3 times as likely to be psychopaths (clinical term: antisocial personality disorder which I’m calling psycho), I’ve chosen to use the male pronoun for this post, lest ...

Q Dear Dr. Darcy:About 4 months ago, I started dating an incredible woman and I think I’m falling in love with her. Before meeting me, she was single for 7 months and before that, she was with her ex for a year… When we started dating, she was supposedly ready to ...