Archive for June 2018

Q:
Dear Dr. Darcy:
Many years ago, I dated a girl who broke up with me because she thought I cheated on her.  We spent many years out of touch and reconnected about a decade ago and we are very good friends now.  There’s nothing intimate between us today – she’s married and I’m also in a committed relationship. Here’s my question:  She thinks that I cheated on her back in the day with a girl who was really just a close friend of mine, although I’ll admit that maybe I made some mistakes back then.  I wasn’t always honest when I was going out with my friend and sometimes I broke plans with my girlfriend to hang out with the friend. This coincided with a period of time when my girlfriend and I weren’t being intimate, which I’m sure led to her concerns that I cheated on her. That and I think my best friend’s father told her that I cheated. Anyway, so how do I clear the air once and for all?  How do I convince someone who I care about deeply that I never betrayed them? And shouldn’t she be over this by now?

Click below to read my answer!

Q:
Dear Dr. Darcy:
How do I cope with feelings of resentment towards my husband? I feel like I love him and would be miserable to divorce him but even when we are doing well I have an underlying anger towards him because I can’t seem to get past issues and feel closure.

Click below to read my answer!

Q:
Hello Dr. Darcy, 
I usually trust my instincts when dealing with women and relationships. However, everything flies out the window when it concerns an ex who is a friend and who also happened to be my first love. A little background on me: I am in my early 30’s and didn’t come out until I was 24.

Anyway, my question concerns this ex. I have known her for 10 years now and always stayed in touch whether through phone or FB. We only dated for two years (one yr on and off) and tried to be FWB [friends with benefits] once but she wanted a relationship and I did not (I was scared honestly).

My issue with her always arises whenever she is single. When she is single, she contacts me. Recently, for the past two months she texts me three times a week. I suspect she has been single since last year but I’m not sure. While her texting me isn’t necessarily a problem, I feel like I am being used because she is lonely and has no one else to talk to. Yet, the rational side of me knows that she talks to friends and family from her hometown.

I feel this way even more because she has stated recently that she is very lonely.  I admit that I am a little lonely. Now that we have been contacting each other, I am starting to have romantic feelings for her again. She doesn’t text things about us being together or anything romantic except for comments about our sex life when we dated (which was good) and that we should get together to catch up. She recently stated that she doesn’t know herself and that she can’t talk about who is she because she is still learning about herself.

Although I haven’t stated to her how I feel, I feel confused as to how to overcome these feelings. Should I stop texting her and stop the friendship? What would be the best way to handle this?

Click below to read my answer!