My Family Feud and the Coronavirus, Round Two

My mother says, “Darcy, I need you to find out if I have COVID.”

I cock my head to the side the way my dog does, wondering just how disoriented her medication can make her before saying, “Mom, you don’t have COVID. They tested you two weeks ago and you’re negative.”

Which is when the nice lady holding the iPad we’re speaking through informs me that on Saturday night my mother was moved to the COVID unit at her rehab, so unless a terrible mistake was made, she has COVID.

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Does “Boring” mean “Breakup”?

Q:

Dear Dr. Darcy:
I’ve been dating an awesome woman for about 9 months. She’s adult and fun and has seen me at my worst and still thinks I’m awesome. About two months ago, I started to find myself bored by our formerly good sex life.

Under normal circumstances, I would take this as a sign that we aren’t really a match. One of my friends called me on this, noting that I’ve said similar things about similarly awesome women in the past. And been utterly and consistently smitten and lustful about more tempestuous and less available women.
How can I tell if this is growing pains for me and the relationship or not the right match?

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Cock Block

Q

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I’ve had a boyfriend for 10 months. I told him right up front that I’m a very sexual woman and needed a man who could satisfy my high sex drive. He will do anything to please me and he gives me amazing orgasms. The problem is, sometimes he doesn’t seem aroused enough or has difficulty staying hard and at times can’t orgasm while I am giving him oral or even when we are just having sex. When that happens I immediately take it as a flaw in me.

He did admit that he feels somewhat nervous that he may disappoint me if he can’t perform perfectly all the time. Is this normal and am I overreacting?

A

You’ve created a situation so riddled with pressure that it would cause me to lose my hard on.

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My Family Feud and the Coronavirus: A Cautionary Tale.

2 quick things before I get into today’s topic:

  1. I was unable to film a vlog this week because my internet was too slow. I’ll be back up next week.

  2. Today’s post is a personal rant. If you don’t have the bandwidth to tolerate my family drama while managing your own, I won’t be mad, it’s all good.

I want you to know that I had a nice uplifting post planned for you today.

And I obviously could have used it and chosen to keep my shit to myself.

But I’m hoping I’ll land on a takeaway that you too can benefit from. And if not, thanks in advance for listening to this human who, despite her age, cannot believe the people she is related to…

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Corona Minimizer

Q

Hi Dr. Darcy,

I’m wondering if you have any tactics on how to handle COVID19 bully’s? My mother-in-law doesn’t believe in what she calls, “living in fear” and has not been social distancing. Furthermore, tonight while FaceTiming with her she made several demeaning comments about our choice to stay isolated.

Her comments and questions were purposefully challenging our ways. I don’t want to create a big family drama but I certainly don’t care to hear her feedback on how I’m keeping my family safe. Any thoughts you have on future responses would be appreciated. Thanks!

A

Your problem is the easiest I’ve ever had to solve and the most complex…

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