Two Boys… And A Girl

Hi.  I’m a college freshman and have been dating my boyfriend since spring semester.  A few nights ago I had a guy friend visit from another school and we were hanging out in my suite with my boyfriend and sort of hooked up and had sex.  All of us.  The thing is it wasn’t so much about me and them as much as it was about them and each other.  So now I’m wondering if maybe my boyfriend is gay?! He’s very open sexually.  He’s always said that sexuality is fluid for most people.  I just didn’t think he was talking about himself.  He says it’s the first time he’s ever hooked up with a guy, but I can’t get the images out of my mind of how much he was enjoying hooking up with my guy friend.  I expected that we’d all be a little uncomfortable the next day and my boyfriend was so NOT uncomfortable.  He was like high all day over it.  No embarrassment whatsoever.   Am I making something out of nothing?

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Modeling Courage

Dr. Darcy, I have I very serious problem. When I was around 10 I was a model and stayed at my photographers house for a summer. Over the summer I was sexually molested many, many times. And my parents still don’t know…. and it really bothers me and it is one reason I am depressed…

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The Importance of the First Kiss

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I’m a man in my early 30’s looking for a relationship. Back in college I had a really bad experience and I think it’s interfering with me finding a woman today. What happened was I hooked up with a girl one night after a party and the next day she told me she didn’t want to see me anymore because there wasn’t chemistry. Later that day my fraternity brothers told me that she told all her sorority sisters that I was an awful kisser. Ever since then I have awful thoughts floating in my head when I’m about to lean in for the first kiss. I’m convinced that the sorority girl is right and that I must suck as a kisser and not surprisingly I rarely get past the first kiss with a woman. How important is the first kiss? Is there a general way that women like to be kissed? Or maybe some common mistakes you can point out to me that guys make when kissing? Please help a brother out.

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9 Things Happy People Do That You Don’t

Happiness, it turns out, is a 50/50 roll of the genetic dice: Half of us are born with a predisposition for it.  Those who aren’t are left with a choice: Do you want to live your life grumpy and pessimistic, predisposed to anxiety and depression, or do you want to adopt the specific ways that happy people think and act, which, when followed, absolutely makes up for the hereditary piece. 

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Welcome To The Power Struggle

Dear Dr. Darcy:

Lately my girlfriend and I fight constantly. I don’t know how this happened because we used to get along so well but suddenly, like within the last couple of months, everything she says pisses me off and judging from the way she snaps at me, I’m guessing I evoke the same feeling in her.  She’s constantly criticizing what I do and then complains when I don’t want to touch her at night. How am I supposed to forget what a bitch she is during the day and have sex at night?  

Now she’s saying that if we don’t start having sex daily, she’s going to break up because she didn’t sign up for a sexless relationship and we’ve only been dating 7 months. She’s totally threatening to abandon me at this point. I’m not sure this can be fixed but I’m paralyzed with fear over losing her. And did I mention she refuses to go to couples counseling?  Is this hopeless?

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