Why You Lack Self-Awareness

dr-darcy-why-you-lack-self-awareness

If you find yourself having the same issues in your relationships – intimate or platonic – it’s not a coincidence: It’s a lack of self-awareness.

 People with self-awareness know what their strengths and weaknesses are, and they know how those weaknesses affect others. 

 You have opportunities on a daily basis to learn about yourself, to gain valuable insights from the world so that you make new mistakes. 

 If you can’t rattle off 5 of your biggest weaknesses within 2 minutes (I just tried to confirm that’s a reasonable timeframe), it means there’s a way you’re moving through the world that’s keeping you from coming face to face with reality. Click below to read 7 things you’re doing to avoid the truth.

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How To Master The First Kiss

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I’m a man in my early 30’s looking for a relationship. Back in college I had a really bad experience and I think it’s interfering with me finding a woman today. What happened was I hooked up with a girl one night after a party and the next day she told me she didn’t want to see me anymore because there wasn’t chemistry. Later that day my fraternity brothers told me that she told all her sorority sisters that I was an awful kisser. Ever since then I have awful thoughts floating in my head when I’m about to lean in for the first kiss. I’m convinced that the sorority girl is right and that I must suck as a kisser and not surprisingly I rarely get past the first kiss with a woman. How important is the first kiss? Is there a general way that women like to be kissed? Or maybe some common mistakes you can point out to me that guys make when kissing? Please help a brother out.

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This is why you’re still single

I just spent an hour researching the search term, “why you’re still alone.” I’ve never seen a topic riddled with more apathetic answers devoid of encouraging people to take personal responsibility in all the years I’ve been blogging.  Here’s a sample of what I found during that hour of my life that I’ll never get back:

“You just haven’t found the right person yet.”

“You’re being selective – it’s a good thing.”

“You have standards.”

“You’ve been hurt and you’re defensive but it’s ok.

“You haven’t made it a priority.”

“Real connections are rare.”

Really?

So I guess I have to be the bearer of truth and tell you the truth about why you’re still single.

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How do I approach a guy I like?

Dear Dr. Darcy,
There’s this guy – not only is he a total hottie, but we go to the same gym, we frequent the same bars with our respective friends – I see him everywhere. We obviously enjoy the same hobbies and I really want to meet him, but I’ve never approached a guy before. I don’t want to come off as desperate or too pushy. How do I meet this guy, what do I even say?

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New Year, New Sex + Love Strategy. Bring it, 2019.

I don’t know about you, but 2018 felt less like a year and more like a decade to me. Or like I was cramming for final exams. All. Year. Long.

Realizing that I’ve been feeling so much pressure makes my inner rebel want to take over. It makes me want to break rules. Test boundaries. Push back.

So, as 2018 (thankfully) fades in our collective rearview mirror, I’ve decided to surrender control of my keyboard – and this blog post – to my inner 16-year old.  Here’s how she thinks you should shake things up in 2019, so we all feel a lot less serious this time next year:

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Why You Lack Self-Awareness

If you find yourself having the same issues in your relationships – intimate or platonic – it’s not a coincidence: It’s a lack of self-awareness.

 People with self-awareness know what their strengths and weaknesses are, and they know how those weaknesses affect others. 

 You have opportunities on a daily basis to learn about yourself, to gain valuable insights from the world so that you make new mistakes. 

 If you can’t rattle off 5 of your biggest weaknesses within 2 minutes (I just tried to confirm that’s a reasonable timeframe), it means there’s a way you’re moving through the world that’s keeping you from coming face to face with reality. Click below to read 7 things you’re doing to avoid the truth.

Read More

7 Questions to Ask on A First Date

When it comes to relationships, what you don’t know can in fact hurt you.

You know this. Your relationship history has taught you this. If you’d known [insert your ex’s negative trait here] at the beginning of that relationship, you’d have gotten out a hell of a lot sooner.

The thing is, you only get the answers to the questions you’re willing to ask, and when it comes to first dates (or the first several dates), people pussy out of asking the tough questions.

My ability to spot the end of a friend’s relationship by the friend’s third date has become so reliable that I have to physically restrain myself from rolling my eyes (or from blurting out, Hey, coming attractions: This one’s gonna crash and burn inside of six months) when I hear the stories containing the warning signs…

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Dating A Celesbian

  Dear Dr. Darcy: My girlfriend is a very well known promoter in the [San Francisco] Bay area. Although I love her, recently I’ve begun questioning our relationship. I’m not a jealous person but she’s recognized everywhere we go. I’m finding myself feeling competitive with other women. I was a women’s studies major in college…

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