Straight Advice
from a
Not-So-Straight Source.


Everything You Learned About Sex Is Wrong

Women. We feel compelled to reach an orgasm – with our partner as the facilitator. We want you to feel good and we know that watching us finish makes you…finish faster. If I can be honest. Which is why we fake it. Often. And at some level, you know this.    ...
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I looked through my boyfriend’s phone and I can’t unsee what I saw

3 minute read Prefer to Multitask? Listen instead! Dr. Darcy, I was looking through my boyfriend’s phone because I noticed he’s been glued to it in a way he hasn’t ever been. I was prepared to see that he’s talking to some other girl. Nope. That would be too easy.  ...
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Surviving the election regardless of the outcome

4 minute read Prefer to Multitask? Listen instead! As an outspoken liberal white lesbian social worker from New York City, I’d think the majority of my readers would be of a similar demographic - and I’d be wrong.  My readership is comprised of all genders, races, sexual orientations, and political ...
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Why do my partners keep trying to change me?

Dear Dr. Darcy:  I just ended things with the second guy I’ve dated since the pandemic.  I feel like every guy I date wants to change me in some way. They want to improve my negative outlook (hello we’re living in a pandemic) or they want me to be more ...
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Why I don’t feel guilty over my white privilege

This fall, I took a course called Whiteness, Race, and Social Justice. I wanted someone to show me the things I can’t see in myself – all the ways I’ve been socialized and educated to participate in and perpetuate systemic racism. I came to that class riddled with guilt over ...
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The 5 worst things to say to a friend going through a breakup

The days and weeks on the heels of a breakup are, for me at least, memories branded in searing pain. Time, which generally flies by, is suddenly measured in minutes, not days. My energy, the stuff that I often dial down so as not to overwhelm the person who happens ...
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