Straight Advice
from a
Not-So-Straight Source.


Why do my partners keep trying to change me?

Dear Dr. Darcy:  I just ended things with the second guy I’ve dated since the pandemic.  I feel like every guy I date wants to change me in some way. They want to improve my negative outlook (hello we’re living in a pandemic) or they want me to be more ...
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Why I don’t feel guilty over my white privilege

This fall, I took a course called Whiteness, Race, and Social Justice. I wanted someone to show me the things I can’t see in myself – all the ways I’ve been socialized and educated to participate in and perpetuate systemic racism. I came to that class riddled with guilt over ...
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The 5 worst things to say to a friend going through a breakup

The days and weeks on the heels of a breakup are, for me at least, memories branded in searing pain. Time, which generally flies by, is suddenly measured in minutes, not days. My energy, the stuff that I often dial down so as not to overwhelm the person who happens ...
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Dear Dr. Darcy: I’m dating a closeted slob.

Q: Dear Dr. Darcy: Ever since my boyfriend and I decided to move in together, our relationship has been suffering. Actually, I have been suffering. He’s a closeted pig. A slob. He doesn’t pick up after himself and there’s no methodology around how housework gets done. As a result, I ...
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Think you’d never fall for a psycho?

He’s not going to show up for the first date swinging an axe with swastika tattoos in plain sight. And since men are 3 times as likely to be psychopaths (clinical term: antisocial personality disorder which I’m calling psycho), I’ve chosen to use the male pronoun for this post, lest ...
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Deal Breakers

Q Dear Dr. Darcy:About 4 months ago, I started dating an incredible woman and I think I’m falling in love with her. Before meeting me, she was single for 7 months and before that, she was with her ex for a year… When we started dating, she was supposedly ready to ...
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