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You Attract What You Try to Avoid in Relationships

Amy is one of my favorite clients. I’ve changed her name of course. She’s been dating her girlfriend for 2 years. Her primary complaint today is the same one she had in the first 3 months of her relationship: Her girlfriend tries to avoid any discussions that involve potential conflict. ...
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Questions You Shouldn’t Have to Ask on A First Date

 If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know that I’m all about personal responsibility – not in the capital R sort of way, rather, in the how did you contribute to the conflict you’re in sort of way.  Basically, if you can’t pony up to your ...
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Bridging The Gap Between Us

I’ve been thinking a lot about healing lately. It was the throughline in Biden’s inauguration. He called it unity. We have to “unite” he says. It’s the only way to heal. There are other voices who say that healing can’t begin until justice is served. Those who enabled four years ...
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The Enemy of Your Orgasm

Dear Dr. Darcy: I’m going to start by saying that if I could be a lesbian, I would be. I am so tired of the guys I date giving up on me if I don’t come within 5 minutes of oral. Do girls really orgasm that fast? My last boyfriend ...
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Holiday cheer? Not this year.

So you thought holiday stress couldn’t get any worse? Welcome to 2020, when the things that historically justify putting up with the holidays are the parts we don’t get this year: Togetherness. Belonging. Community. I love the holidays. Gift giving is my love language. Cooking is my passion. Hosting friends ...
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It’s My Anniversary 🎉

10-years is a long time for any relationship - whether with a human or a blog. A couple years ago I thought about hanging it up. Letting it go. I’d been writing Ask Dr. Darcy for 8 years, was busy with other projects, had covered every topic - many repeatedly ...
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