Blog

Straight Advice
from a
Not-So-Straight Source.

103-1038504_upside-down-arrow-straight-arrow-pointing-down
103-1038504_upside-down-arrow-straight-arrow-pointing-down

The Dick Pic

The only thing that makes me cringe more than hearing Trump speak is the statistic that 49% of single American women have been on the receiving end of a penis photo they didn’t request. From accidental penis tweets and unsolicited sexts to cyber-flashing random women on subway trains through AirDrop, ...
Read More

How Steph and I negotiate “safety” during the pandemic

It recently occurred to me that although we’re in month five of the pandemic, my wife Steph and I have yet to discuss how we each want to live for the foreseeable future. Like, the nuts and bolts of staying safe - risks we’re willing to take in the name ...
Read More

Why your apology is bull$shi! to me

It’s not that I’m a grudge holder. Really. In fact, several years ago when I catapulted myself into a journey of forgiveness for someone who had wronged me, I measured my capacity for forgiveness at the outset, and it turned out I’m in the normal-range of forgivers. It’s the apology ...
Read More

It’s time for a sexual PSA

Q Dr. Darcy, I’m having some sexual issues with my boyfriend. We started dating just before the pandemic. By the time we were out of lockdown I was so sexually deprived that every time we hooked up, we bypassed foreplay and got right to sex. Now that we’ve been having ...
Read More

An Open Letter to Millennials – particularly those I’m related to.

Millennials: We’re all fucking fatigued. You’re exhausted from COVID and I’m exhausted from having to motivate you to take it seriously. This was originally written as a text to the two of you I’m related to  (The last sentence. Actually, no. The whole thing), but it occurred to me that ...
Read More

Dr. Darcy, why are you still talking about racism?

Q Dear Dr. Darcy, I see you talking and posting about the BLM movement a lot and I want to ask, out of genuine curiosity and desire to understand, what does any of it have to do with relationships? I miss your relationship blogs. A I hear you, mama. You ...
Read More

Keep your empathy, white girl. Do something.

People of color are tired of hearing that I’m heartbroken. They’re tired of black murder resulting in a kind of Black People’s Spirit Week where we whites gush empathy and outrage and get distracted the minute the news cycle changes. Or by the gnat that flies in our peripheral. Do ...
Read More

Dear White Person

It’s 1996. I’m in my second year of graduate school. Professor Richard Cloward, a pioneer in American social justice, is teaching my class at Columbia University’s School of Social Work. Today’s discussion comes from a chapter in his book, Regulating The Poor, in which he posits that American society is ...
Read More

Sex During Lockdown

Q Dear Dr. Darcy: My boyfriend and I were together 3 months before lockdown started and because he was basically at my place all the time, we decided he’d stay with me until things opened up again. I feel like I should back up and say that at the time ...
Read More

For Better or For Worse

“For better or for worse.”It’s probably the most widely used phrase exchanged in wedding ceremonies.And I have a problem with it.I’m all for making a commitment to the person I love.And I’m all for loyalty.And I’ll tell you a secret: When I love someone, I love them forever - and ...
Read More

My family drama – the conclusion.

Seven weeks after the first case of COVID appeared in the United States, my 88-year old mother fell and broke her hip, propelling her into a rehabilitation facility largely occupied by the elderly. You can read that story here. That accident alone would have taken up my rapidly depleting bandwidth as ...
Read More

This is how to have a tough conversation

Admit it: The term we have to talk sends a little shiver up your spine. It’s probably one of the most universally dreaded statements. I’m not sure if it’s worse to be on the receiving or giving end, but for today’s purpose, I’m going to teach you how to be on the ...
Read More

Ask Dr. Darcy

© 2020 Ask Dr. Darcy. All rights reserved.

Don't leave without Joining My Tribe!