What Not To Do When Sliding Into Her DM’s

Hey Dr. Darcy, there’s a girl in my workout class that I really like but I’m not sure if she likes me. Do you have any thoughts on DMing her and asking her out?

 

 

I always do a quick Google search before answering questions to make sure the advice I’m about to dispense isn’t painfully obvious or painfully wrong. 

On this topic I break from the pack of [usually unqualified] advisors who overwhelmingly caution against sliding into her DMs. 

 

We live in the digital courting age which makes choosing social media above an in-person conversation an obvious choice of first contact, and there’s lots of reasons why:

  • It’s less vulnerable when you’re not in person. 
  • You don’t have to worry about catching her at the wrong time. 
  • Rejection may sting less if she can’t see your face while you’re feeling it.

But there’s lots of reasons why she might prefer you ask in a DM: 

  • She won’t be put on the spot. 
  • She’ll have time to vet you before answering.
  • She will feel less awkward and anxious.

That said, there are some basic Do’s and Don’ts I’ll share with you: 

DO THESE THINGS ON IG BEFORE ASKING HER OUT

  • Follow her. 
  • Interact with her by making thoughtful comments that involve more than 2 words. If she replies, advance to the next bullet.
  • Begin the DM by asking a question that shows you’ve taken the time to read what she posts about and shows you’re curious about her. After she responds, you’re clear to ask her out.

DON’T 

  • Exclusively use emojis (especially the phallic ones).
  • Interact with 1 or 2 words. Put some effort behind it and cough up a full sentence, even if you don’t use punctuation. 
  • Ask her out unless or until she responds back. If she says nothing, she’s not interested.
  • Double DM her. See above for why. 
  • Ever send a dick pic. I wanted to assume this was obvious but my team overruled me.

When she does respond — because I’m an optimist (and I’ve seen your profile) — ask if she’d like to grab a coffee sometime after the gym. 

LMK how it goes!

 

Writer submitted their question via Instagram DM.

Demographics can never be assumed but they appear to be male and straight.