The Secret To Keeping The Spark Alive

I’ve been in a long-term relationship and lately it feels like we’re drifting apart. We used to be so connected and in sync, but now it’s like we’re living separate lives. I still love my partner deeply, but I’m not sure how to get the spark and intimacy we once had. How can I reignite the passion and emotional connection in our relationship?



Since humans are always growing, those of us in relationships need to make sure we’re growing together. Otherwise, we’ll grow apart.

The secret to keeping the spark alive is to do the things you did in the beginning of the relationship because those are the things that made you fall in love in the first place. 

Now it’s possible that one or both of you no longer crave the activities that got your blood pumping early on, to which I’ll say: You can’t have change unless you actually change. 

Do you still need to go to clubs in your forties? No. But find an adult-equivalent of what you or your partner loved about clubs. Don’t get tripped up just because you’re no longer interested in the exact activity that brought you together. 

Building on the example of clubbing: You probably enjoyed getting dressed up and wearing fun, frivolous clothing that had less utility than sex appeal. You probably love music and the ambiance of nightlife. Drill down on the things you liked about the activities that brought you together and don’t get distracted by the fact that you no longer want to do the same exact things you used to. 

Relationships thrive when there’s a splash of novelty woven into the predictable parts of life. 


Writer’s Demographics

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Straight