Facing Fifty

In 32 days, I turn fifty. It’s a month and one day from today, in case 32 days isn’t precise enough for you. 

I have an interesting relationship to my birthday: A part of me believes it should be a national holiday while another part doesn’t think to make plans until I find myself in the week of.

I’ve watched this one advance for months.

I knew this post was coming, too. Although now that I’m in it, I’m questioning the direction it should take. 

My head tells me that it should be about my insides. My feelings. Fifty is a milestone, afterall. Am I content? Successful? Fulfilled?

But my heart keeps circling back to my body, which is how I know it’ll be impossible for me to describe turning fifty with any honesty if I don’t start with what you see. Or what I try hard for you not to see.

And it’s going to be truth. Not some watered down version of what I think I should share. 

I’m giving you all the details about my experience as I face 50.

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