So I’m falling for an unhappily married straight woman I work with. We have become close, sharing information about our own relationships and we have built a strong bond. I’m not stupid. I know this is probably a disaster. The main problem is I feel so confused because I try to distance myself when we are not at work, then she will text me and say something like she hates work but loves work cause we are together but then never mentions anything afterward. Am I making a fool of myself or do I give her time?

Give her time? For what? To tell you she’s straight?

Lesbian rule #1: Don’t become besties with straight women you have feelings for. Or who you’re beginning to develop feelings for. Or who you masturbate to. 


Because she’s straight. 

Best case scenario, she’s oblivious to your feelings. Worst case scenario, she’s stringing you along for the support she doesn’t get from her husband. 

Either way, this ends with you having (what I suspect is more) evidence that people suck, which many do, but that takeaway lets you off the hook.  

To find an available partner, you have to put yourself out there. We no longer have the excuse that we live in an area where there are no gays or that you can’t readily identify members of our community ‘cause of this thing called online dating

If you want to fast-forward to the ending of this story, tell her you have feelings for her and ask her where her head’s at. EVEN if she says she’s attracted to you too, tell her to call you when her divorce is over and she’s clear about her sexual orientation. 

There. I just saved you about 50K in therapy.


Writer’s Demographics: Female, Lesbian